What is the most important factor of a successful relationship?

Can you predict the success of a relationship by watching a couple talking with each other?

From Blink, the Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm GladwellJohn Gottman is the lead of the “love lab” of University of Washington.  On predicting whether a couple will stay married 15 years later, he has

95% accuracy by watching the couple talking for 60 mins.

90% accuracy by watching the couple talking for 15 mins.Signs he focuses on are:

  • defensiveness
  • stonewalling
  • criticism
  • contempt

Among which contempt is the most critical of all.  “You would think that criticism would be the worst, … But if I speak from a superior plane (contempt), that’s far more damaging.”

[Zeebees] So, respect for each other is the sign you can use to predict the success of a relationship.  What do you think is the most underlying factor of a successful of a relationship.  I would say trust.  What do you think?

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